Just Pissed Off at the World Today so here...

We're all desperate for attention,
We're desperate for the truth.
We put up for sale our home,
For a sailboat to sail away.

Our lies become our truths,
Our best friends our enemies.
How does the world still turn,
There are so many jagged pieces.

I will walk on burning coal,
I will look like I feel no pain.
In the end it doesn't matter,
In the end I'm to blame.

No one is to be trusted,
They all hold knives behind you.
When you least expect it,
They will surprise you.

You can fall to the ground,
Or you can stand up tall.
Either way they won't change,
In the end say fuck them all.

Headphones

Rant time.

Drivers get blamed for it all but as a driver, who is also a pedestrian, I would live to say, "TAKE OUT YOUR EFFING HEADPHONES!"
If you are going to walk around with your headphones in, then either have it low enough that you can still hear cars or look around. As a pedestrian, I have been known to walk with my earphones but I don't close my eyes and turn off the world. Take a look around because if you are walking in a parking lot and walk in front of me and I hit you, then I bet you're going to sue my ass. But no, I am in my car looking around and I see you. I stop. You don't even know I am there. I would honk, maybe shoot the finger but you're not going to see or hear me anyways. SO PLEASE, have some common courtesy. They made a volume button and sidewalks for a reason. Use them. Douche.

Only The Good Die Young

I don't know who will read this, if anyone, but this is my goodbye. I just had a friend killed on Tuesday. I am still in shock. This is the first time anyone close to me has died. I never realized how painful death really was. Of couse I knew it was sad and really hard, but I never understood just how much it can affect you. I never realized just how much it can play with your emtions, change everything in your life, the way it makes you think.

So this blog is for my friend Blane. You were the most caring, nicest, incredible person. It hurts so much that I haven't seen you much these past couple months. I know everyone was busy and things had changed between me and a close friend but if I had known that it would lead me to not being able to see you for the last time, I would have changed it all. You were my BFF. We joked about that all the time. I owed you ice cream. After your funeral we went for ice cream. We toasted to you. That was for you buddy.

I think about if you knew how amazing you were? I wonder if you knew how great I thought you were? I wonder if you are looking down at all of us from Heaven? I wonder if you are free now? I believe you are free now. The song that came to mind upon hearing of your death was Blackbird. How ironic and horrible is it that I have to plan my own funeral right now for a school assignment and hear of this. I am using it as a grieving tool. Ihad included the song Blackbird because it is so freeing. You loved to cycle. You died doing what you love. I hope, no I KNOW you are cycling now. Everywhere in the sky. You are as free as the blackbird. You are as free as the wind. You were, are, and always will be loved by everyone who knew you. You touched so many peoples lives. I can only hope that I can live my life as fully as you did in your 21 years.

Love always.

Ride free now Blane.

Where Do You Want To Stand?

Learn from our mistakes,

but never forget them.

Let go of the people who brake us,

but never stop loving them.

We will never be satisfied if we hold onto the past,

Don't forget it, reflect it. Don't hate it, love it.

I am trying to live by the quote, "Don't regret anything, because at one point you wanted it."

People hurt us, but at one point we wanted them in our life.

Just another page in the scrapbook of memories.