I don't know who will read this, if anyone, but this is my goodbye. I just had a friend killed on Tuesday. I am still in shock. This is the first time anyone close to me has died. I never realized how painful death really was. Of couse I knew it was sad and really hard, but I never understood just how much it can affect you. I never realized just how much it can play with your emtions, change everything in your life, the way it makes you think.
So this blog is for my friend Blane. You were the most caring, nicest, incredible person. It hurts so much that I haven't seen you much these past couple months. I know everyone was busy and things had changed between me and a close friend but if I had known that it would lead me to not being able to see you for the last time, I would have changed it all. You were my BFF. We joked about that all the time. I owed you ice cream. After your funeral we went for ice cream. We toasted to you. That was for you buddy.
I think about if you knew how amazing you were? I wonder if you knew how great I thought you were? I wonder if you are looking down at all of us from Heaven? I wonder if you are free now? I believe you are free now. The song that came to mind upon hearing of your death was Blackbird. How ironic and horrible is it that I have to plan my own funeral right now for a school assignment and hear of this. I am using it as a grieving tool. Ihad included the song Blackbird because it is so freeing. You loved to cycle. You died doing what you love. I hope, no I KNOW you are cycling now. Everywhere in the sky. You are as free as the blackbird. You are as free as the wind. You were, are, and always will be loved by everyone who knew you. You touched so many peoples lives. I can only hope that I can live my life as fully as you did in your 21 years.
Love always.
Ride free now Blane.
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